East to the West, Middle to Best

Well I suck at blogging, bad, like a limbless man trying to master Karate. According to the steve Fisher it’s been 25 days and if I don’t make another the internet may collapse. So to save the precious interwebs and maybe give all other professional cyclist hope that they may find its end I happily present the idiocracy of my life.

After settling into the migratory October home of Delaware at the house of Tom McDaniel things started to perk up, we found trails. The Monday after granouge Steve, Jeff Bahnson, and I made our way out to white clay to shred the forest on the not so shred bikes. It was most enjoyable, especially watching steve poops himself trying to ride the teeter totter on the skills course. A serious couple of days of bike building, course break downing, ice cream eating, laundry doing, and internerding we were locked and loaded to head to PA and find the Bill. The Bill, also known as Bill Elliston, or long flowing locks of masters domination was our 4th compatriot for the trip to Louisville. What would be a pretty epic drive in most circumstances for “pro” bike racers was made luxury travel because we took Tom’s Crafter airstream combo. The Crafter is a sprinter, but pimped out by an anal retentive attention to detail oriented single (spatula) man to include bike racks, a bed, camping pads, wireless internet, gps and many snacks. So after having my feet up all day and using the internet on the interstate we made it to Louisville.

The venue in Louisville was new for this year and will apparently be where they’re going to host worlds. Its cool that they have a dedicated park to cross, but its not cool that it hadn’t rained and that the lap was only 5 minutes long. In the continuing trend of summer cross short sleeve skin suits were dawned, lbs of dust were consumed, and 1 super steep hill was climbed in every conceivable way eleventy trillion times. I managed to hold my own in Saturday’s dirt crit managing to be in the group racing for 11th, only to loose the group and get 15th a trend I’m look to start avoiding. Sunday was a much bloodier affair, literally in my pants. After maybe my best first couple of laps of a USGP, I was involved in a crash in the sand pit, well less of a crash and more of an abrupt halt. Another riders bard went thru my rear wheel in the sand and at a result I slammed my willy (not to be confused with above mentioned bill) into my stem. Such force was rammed into my nether region that blood was drawn and one of my testes got an ego complex and decided to try and take on the grapefruit.

After a painful ride back to Deleware and a few days of cowboy walkin things started to settle back into normal. Had a couple great rides into rural PA and the fall colors were in full effect. Nature is pretty good at making pretty things. Then there was the amazing discovery of what to do while resting, consume copious amounts of Parks and Recreation. I’m not one for television generally, but this program is brilliant possibly better than the office and rivaling Flight of the Conchords. There was also some bike matches on the weekend in NJ. Saturday was very very good, I was in the sprint for the win with the Swiss Cheese, but lost the bike throw. Sunday was one of my favorite races HPCX. A course that requires much bike driving, some finesse, plus a good climbing skills. I missed the front group but slayed myself all afternoon chasing hard and whittling our group down to 4, only once again to loose the group to finish 5th on the day.

By this point I was pretty cracked on the east coast with too many people and lack of recycling, so I headed home. Arriving back in Oregon I found my house had been taken over by naked hippies, oh wait that’s just my roommates. It was awesome to go home and work in the garden, visit the woods with big trees, have a potluck, go camping, and maybe most importantly go mountain biking. I’m fairly positive my success at life in general is due to squishing thru the forest at high speeds on 2 wheels. All of life’s troubles, emails, bad form, crappy racing, and blog entries just simply don’t matter when that little ribbon of trail pulls you downward. There was even some good cx happenings too. The muddiest cross crusade I can remember for a while went down, and I went down in it making my bike a single speed for the day leaving me to enjoy the magic that is the Cross Crusade. Plus our first night time cx practice with lights was had due to the silly time change.

Fully refreshed and rained on I took another trip on the big metal bird out to the original home land Colorado. Its been a few years since I’ve been back for cross race but this USGP weekend was a gem. I got to stay with the sister and her husband and they made excellent hosts. Steve Fisher once again joined me for small man team travel tactics. We got his bikes together proper fast as to enjoy this new card game called hand and foot. Its played with 4 decks of cards and gets pretty intense especially with Steve’s extreme cockiness and rude heckling. After getting rocked at cards, it was time to not get rocked at a bike race. The course in FoCo was amazing and since winter cross decided to finally come out we got to have a real mudder weekend. Saturday was one of those races where being most out of control was the way to go fast, and I really enjoy this. So with my best call up of the year I managed to botch it and drop my chain on the first transition to dirt. This made for a long day, but I put in some killer mid race lap times to get all the way up to 13th, just to loose the group again and finish 16th (I need to fix this recurring theme). Sunday was much of the same lameness, this time I had a mechanical just after the pit on lap 2 but was sitting pretty in about 13th when it happened. I didn’t have the fight to claw my way back up there so I wound up 20th. A bit frustrating to have some good form and good call up only to not put together good races. This may well turn around for me soon though.

I’m back on the germ tube now headed to the best coast once again. No more travel on these crazy things this season. Portland USGP and Nats are going to be bangin and I want to be in the mix. So it looks like its time to go shred the forest, make the first pow turns of the year, harvest some lettuce from my garden, and go mushroom hunting. Hurray home, just the recipe for faster spando circles in Dec


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